| The purpose of this section is to bring to
life those events and places described in these pages. Also it
should serve as good way to get completely and utterly slaughtered
nad anybody completing the whole thing will find themselves truly
removed to an alternate state of conciousness.
The village of Basing. The Bolton Alms, across from Oliver's
Battery where Cromwell arranged his cannons, still bears Waller's
motto 'amez loyalte' which means 'love loyalty', clearly demonstrating
his effete pro-establishment sensibilities. Best just to get
a couple of swift ones down your neck here before heading on
right through the village. As you walk down "The Street"
remember to cut a lucky souvenir sprig from one of the award
winning topiaries near the fork with Milkingpen Lane.
Continue down until you reach the church which still bears
the scars of this 17th Century conflict.
Prostrate yourself on the ground under the yew tree here and
call out to Merlin and the Earth Mother for your soul to be
filled with the spirit of Baz. After this, you will probably
be in need of a drink, so head on down to The Crown Inn, noticing
the quaint half-timbered cottages, built from the very rubble
of Basing House itself. The Crown has a classy lounge bar and
a lively public bar with pool, pinball and polkies. You'll want
to stop here for a few, but it'd be a good idea to move on before
it gets dark. Don't take your pint with you - the pigs in Old
Basing have nothing better to do than give you a hard time for
it! If they do catch you, just give them some cock and bull
story as they're generally pretty gullible, too.
There are three alternative routesyou could take from here.
Energetic lovers of serenity can walk on round following the
crumbling, ivy-covered remains of the outer perimeter wall and
then turn up Swing Swang Lane (very popular with small children
and Americans) until reaching the Loddon River.
They can then keep following the river back to the Millstone
pub, if they haven't managed to get themselves lost.
Much quicker and far more interesting is to follow the wall
round only as far as the main gate
and then to cut through past the "Bloody Barn", scene
of a horrendous massacre of sneaky Roundheads who tried to ambush
some of Sir Wally's men one misty morning.
Before long this path meets up with the river and soon you'll
arrive thirsty for another at the Millstone.
Finally, if you're really in a hurry, you just cut up through
'dog-shit alley', ask locals for directions but watch your step!
The Millstone's a great place to go and get completely slaughtered;
highly recommend is the Bishops Tipple. It's best to go there
late in the day as there's always a bunch of yuppies there at
lunchtimes. If the landlord tries to throw you out, tell him
you're a mate of Ollie
There's a nice restaurant at the Mill if you fancy splashing
out on some posh yet tasty French food, but don't overstuff
your face and forget the last leg of the tour:- The lychpit
was a mass grave into which were thrown the dead and rotting
bodies of soldiers massacred in the assault on Basing House.
This place is still home to the un-living as it is now a development
of affordable and uninspired modern housing, fine examples of
Thatcherian style. It is through this chilling neighborhood
that you must pass in order to reach your final destination.
It can be a disturbing experience, wandering these deserted,
maze-like streets at night, lost and unsure of your destination.
It's natural to wonder if those sinister window panes are really
all dark just because everyone around here goes to bed early.
With a bit of luck, you'll find your way to the Lychpit youth
center and the welcoming light of the Cromwell Inn.
Despite its name and the fact that it is a renovated historical
barn, the Cromwell Inn is not shackled to the past and is a
refreshingly modern place in the best Basingstoke tradition.
The Ground of Old Basing church are in serious need
of a volunteer effort
Crown Inn - A fine establishment
burial site of Baz himselfwell, possibly.
ancient and murky River Loddon
Millstone has become quite the yuppie haven recently
the bloody Bloody Barn
Some dogshit, found in dogshit alley